Reckless: Rope Journaling 4-26

It’s odd being a switch.  All week I’d wanted him to be cruel to me.  It was such a visceral need I felt hollow to the core, longing to be filled by him.  Repeatedly satisfying myself every evening the best I could while alone.  I sent him filthy texts.  We exchanged equally explicit photos in an attempt to tide ourselves over until the weekend.  I was distracted to the point of being worthless at work (not that there’s ever much work to do there other than think of depraved ways to play with my lovers.)

By Saturday I’m inert with lust, lounging in bed half dressed like a hedonist waiting for him to arrive. “Should I make myself come so many times I’m already in a frenzy when you get here?  Or should I tease myself so I’m nearly mad with need?”  I ask him.

“Keep yourself on edge so you’re seeping with wetness by the time I get to you. I insist.”

A new bolt of lust passes through me.  I love being told what to do by a lover. My hands wander low to finger myself; I’m already hot and on edge with waiting and anticipation.  I’m terrible at denying myself so I accidentally go too far before I can stop myself. The orgasm surprises me but I follow it, guilty and wanting more.  So I nap to prevent myself from getting off again and again until I’m too far gone to be of any use to him.

When he knocks I’m all loose lazy muscles, content and sleepy.  I just want to drape myself over his warm body like a cat and purr into his neck. We’re in my bed, tangled together 10 seconds after he puts his bag down. He smells like endless pleasure and long curls spilling onto his face.  His slight stubble rubs my face as I breathe him in. Usually he’s the one with his nose all over me but two can play this game. I straddle him, holding his hands down and leaning in for a hypothetical kiss that I pull away from at the last minute, making him arch up unto my face for us to touch lips.

His eyes are big and needy, mine are narrowed as the grin on my face spreads.  Suddenly, somehow, I’m feeling the need to dole out cruelty though it goes against everything I’ve begged him for over the course of the week.  He doesn’t seem to mind at all when I spread eagle him to the bed, reveling in ripping open his snappy shirt to expose him and lap at his chest.  Pulling down his pants to tease him by sitting my bare crotch on his belly just out of the reach of his cock as it grows, trying to make contact with my bum.


We kiss recklessly as I fondle him, teasing us both with the vicinity of the centers of us that I would never so carelessly join without protection. But oh the meanness of that teasing, the threat unfollowed until he’s thrashing, so desperate for it that I pull away, using my mouth instead so that I’m not tempted. This is met with still more groans and thrusts of the hips and I smile to look up at his pleasure.

Soon he’s naming longings. “Sit on my face. Maybe tie a dildo to my chest so you can ride it while I lick you.”

“Look who’s a bossy bottom.”  I sit back and look at him trapped there at the center of my bed.

He looks away, blushing slightly but then back to full on sassy shameless eye contact. “Just making suggestions.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Though I find it odd: I’ve never had the first rope I’ve put on someone be a harness to seat a strap on to their chest.”

He just shrugs an “aw well shucks” shrug, totally unabashed or unashamed and watches me bind a dildo to him.  When I’m finished I gleefully take in the view of two hard cocks, I ride one while reaching back to periodically stroke the other as he licks me until my legs are quivering and useless.  I release his hands and they waste no time grasping me, pulling me tighter, touching what he’s been denied.

Soon he’s flipped the roles entirely and I’m the one restrained to the bed and helpless.  He teases me in all the same ways I teased him.  And it’s also divine on this side of being pleasantly tormented: alternately being forced to lay back and accept the pleasure he doles out and to swallow the cock he so kindly shoves down my throat until I’m gagging and delighted. 

He untangles the dildo from it’s resting place on his chest and fucks me silly with it.  Releases me from the restraints to fuck me silly himself, occasionally also adding the dildo until I’m a mess of orgasms and I’m so thoroughly and doubly used I’ll sit a little funny for a couple days to remember him. And remember our deviant games.  Hoping a head full of dirty thoughts will get me through another week.

Emily BinghamComment