Scene: Bed in an unfamiliar house I’m watching for a couple weeks.
Mr Right has just finished tying me spread eagle to the bed using a brand new knot I taught him. Annoyingly he learned on the first try with no effort. (I suspect after a couple more lessons he'll be better at rope than me. This is irritating and erotic all at once) This knot tying and perfecting has taken around 20 minutes. He grins as he moves to begin the rest of his plan.
Me feels particularly vulnerable spread out across the bed. Legs wide and waiting. Feeling like prey as Mr Right looks on.
A very loud ringing fills the house. It’s the doorbell chiming. At least I think it's the doorbell. Mr Right and I look at each other startled, hearts racing.
Me: “Should you untie me?”
Mr Right looking like a dear deer in the headlights: “I don't know.”
Me: “Who would it possibly be? I bet it's just a solicitor and they'll go away when we don't answer.”
Mr Right looking around: “I'm looking for a blunt object.”
Mr Right: “For bludgeoning. Though I suppose a shady character wouldn’t ring first.”
Me: “That’s where your head goes first? Bludgeoning?”
The doorbell rings out loudly again making us both jump. Mr Right and I look at each other wide eyed. He stands at attention at bedroom door. I am still very much and very securely tied to the bed and starting to feel vulnerable in a not fun way.
Me: “Well fuck. Maybe you should go answer it. If it's homeowner’s friend tell them I'm in the shower.”
Mr Right leaves room and comes back instantly: “Here, I'll loosen you a bit first.”
He unties one of my wrists and heads for the door. I frantically finish untying my other limbs and try to find clothes as I hear the front door open. Mr Right steps outside.
Disembodied voice I only catch in bits and pieces: “Are you S? ...when will they be back? ...joke about female homeowner and stalking her on her bike so he can pass something off to her...40 people…”
I stand on the stairway unsettled as Mr Right closes the door and brandishes a quart of apparently handmade cider. We both look equally confused.
Mr Right: “Want some cider that may or may not be poisoned and/or laced with LSD?”
Mr Right: “Apparently their neighbor had a cider making party and needed to hand deliver this tonight. He was not taking the hint.”
Mr Right is flushed, hair disheveled, pants pretty obviously just barely put on. Most people would understand this as a coitus interruptus situation. The neighbor was not that observant.
Me: “Obviously not what with the ringing the doorbell twice at 8:30 on a Sunday when any reasonable person is having sex.”
We kiss, trying to regain the moment.
Mr Right: “Well that was a mood killer. Glad you didn't see him, you may have never wanted to have sex ever again.”
Me:”Thanks for taking one for the team while I was a little tied up.” I grab Mr Right and drag him towards the bedroom again. I won't allow some weirdo with questionable apple juice ruin our fun. “This is just an excuse for you to grab more rope and practice your single column ties.”
Mr Right grimaces but gamely follows me into bed. We go back to what we had started. Mr right ties me, more secure than before. I look at him impressed and a little intimidated because this time he has a blindfold which he puts on me.
Me: “Yeap I definitely feel even more vulnerable what with the blindfold and knowing that the shady doorbell can ring at any time.”
Mr Right: “Oh good, that’s the plan.”
He goes for something on the bedside table. Clothes pins, wartenburg wheel, vibrator. I don't remember what came first just that the interruption was only further fuel for the erotic energy we'd started yesterday but were unable to finish. We were highly pent up by this point.
Dear reader, Mr Right teased and tormented me with surprising intensity. Then he fucked me silly with an unexpected vigor. Then we fucked me silIyer with vibrators until I came, until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then I sat up to kiss him. He pulled my hair to pull me in closer and thus caused a new cascade of orgasms start.
Me just barely able to speak while looking him in the eyes: “No fair making me start coming again.”
Mr Right: “Oh darn it's almost as if I've figured out what you like.”
When I finally wrestle my vagina away from his sneaky fingers and have a chance to relax long enough to make my legs work again it's his turn. I tie his arms to the bed. No doorbells ring. I tease and please him to a delicious fruition. We canoodle in a sweaty happy pile.
Mr Right: “Take that cider guy!”
Me: “I'd say.”
Mr Right: “If only he had any idea what he interrupted.”
We look around at the rope and sex toys and clothes everywhere and giggle.