Posts tagged pick up play
That Time I...Had My Firefly Fantasies Come True

I have a very soft, warm and squishy spot for Nathan Fillion aka Malcolm Reynolds who holds top slot in my spank bank.  So  it was a no brainer to overcome my social anxiety and walk up to Captain Very Tight Pants the second I saw him sitting alone in a suit and tie at a kink event.  He looked like Nathan Fillion if Nathan Fillion grew up in Wisconsin on a steady diet of beer and brats.

As if looking hot in a suit wasn’t enough, the first words out of his mouth were, “Well hello, I’m Jay and I just moved here from Milwaukee.”  This was soon followed by, “My fetishes are sarcasm, latex, and dressing up as a certain space captain.”

Reader, if there would have been a private room at this event I would have pulled him into that room and made one or both of us cry out in exquisite pleasure-pain for hours.  I’ve been waiting for an attractive man to say many of those words in about that order for a long time.  Instead I settled for settling in next to him on a couch, enjoying the warmth of his thigh on my thigh and the barbs of his sarcasm against mine.

Brainy and hot. Swoon!  And then I let him out of my sight for 5 minutes and blamo!  He was gone as if he had never been there.

This is one of the times that the smallness of Portland came in handy; it wasn’t long until I ran into him again at an event.  This time he was wearing a super hero style utility suit but made of latex. Holy fuck, my uterus probably swelled to twice its original size in horny delight. 

“Hey stranger, you’re looking good.”

He raised an insanely expressive eye brow and gave me the once over.  “Hey!  You too. Nice corset.”

“Nice shiny get up!  You probably get this all the time but do you mind if I touch it/you?”

Another raised eyebrow and he holds out his arm in my general direction. I grin like a giddy school girl and reach out to run my fingers over the latex.  Holy shit it was soft and slippery and warm from his skin.  It was like touching his skin but not, it was heady and I was ready to tip over with unprocessed hormones.

“Wow that’s awesome.  I officially see why you like it.”

“You should have him spin, it’s even better from behind!” Screamed some drunk bystander seeing me with drool hanging from my chin.

My turn to give him a little eye brow action. Being well versed in the communication of eyebrows he knew that I was asking him to show me that butt and so he spun and it was indeed even better from behind.  That ass!  I wanted to reach out and grab it and never let that sweet bubble butt go.  But consent is key so I controlled myself as difficult as it was.

“So what are you up to?”  He screamed over the music.

“Oh just hanging out and not getting tied up.  You know the usual.”  I did a little dance with my eye brows that I hope he understood meant“Wanna take care of that for me?”

Then I realized I had no idea what way he swung in any sense of possible orientations that might or might not make us compatible or this a valid line of flirtation. Should I have said instead “Obviously I’m getting ready to tie you up hot stuff!”? As a bisexual switch I sometimes forget that not all people go all ways.

“I’d be happy to help you with that ma’am but I haven’t any rope on me.”

My heart dropped.  The one time I don’t bring rope with me and this!  Are you fucking kidding me universe? I have the chance to play with the hottest guy in all of hot world and not having rope this one time out of the million and 2 times I’ve brought rope and never used it is going to be what keeps it from happening? No way! Unacceptable!

“Nor do I, strangely enough.  But I think with our big sexy brains we can MacGyver the shit out of this.”

“Oh yeah?”

I looked him up and down and my lust was renewed. Damn he was fine! Aside from a nice bulge in his very tight pants I noticed a canvas belt around his waist.  The bells in my lust addled brain went off.

“Yes?”  He asked as if he could hear every dirty thought in my head.

“Oh um, I was admiring your tight pants but while I was there I realized that you have a belt, I have these ridiculously long corset laces, we can probably find a paper clip around here somewhere and the floor is covered in marshmallows* so I’m thinking we have plenty of materials to not only defuse a bomb but make a relatively reasonable semblance of DIY bondage happen.”

He put hands on hips, jutting his jaw and hardening his face while looking off into the distance. My middle school comic bookobsessed self was squealing with joy.  Oh fuck he’s hot!

Suddenly he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him, “Let’s do this.  For Metropolis!”  Okay we might be mixing metaphors now but I’m into it. He pulled me towards a bench that wasn’t in use and bent me over it.

Yes, take me Captain Tight pants!  Take me in a manly fashion!  He holds my shoulders down so my face is on the bench and my ass is in the air.  I have no idea what he’s up to and I don’t care, I love it.

Bending down behind me so that most of his body is touching mine now he leans to my ear, “I mean that is if this is okay with you.”  He pauses. Oh fuck and now he’s doing verbal consent, this man is the hottest thing.  Could he just hurry up and have 7000 of my puppies already? My loins are both on fire and dripping with arousal at this point.

“Of course. Thanks for asking but by god have your way with me Captain Tight Pants.”

He straightens back up, hand on my shoulders, other hand fumbling to untie my corset.  “What will I do with you, oh filthy minded one?”  He says in a husky super hero saving the day kinda voice.  Then in his regular voice with an edge of confusion.  “No really what will I do with you?”

I wiggle my butt to help with little non verbal communication.  He groans “Oh heck yes!” Then in my ear again. “That is a nice behind, can I spank it?”

“I wish you would.”

In his super hero voice, “I will flog you with the latex covered hand of justice.” In his regular voice.  “Just as soon as I can tie these hands up.”  He fumbles with corset laces and his belt and managed to pin my arms behind me and out of the way.  I could have escaped if I’d wiggled just a little big but why in the hell would I want to escape when I’ve spent most of my life trying to get right where I was.

The twack of his latex encased palm against my ass was enough to make most of the room turn around and look.  We looked at each other and giggled. “Okay so maybe not with the gloves.”  He removed them and went back to slappingmy behind while occasionally keeping up the levels of ridiculous by saying things like, “Take that evil doer!”

After a couple minutes of casual spanking, we’d come to the end of the boundaries we had negotiated on the fly.  My ass was warm and happy.  We were both giggling. So he untangled me from our various clothing items, he put out a strong hand to help me up from the floor and guided me to a seat.

We sat shoulder to shoulder, breathing heavily and jointly unsure what to do with ourselves now.  Every time I turned my head to sass him he was already looking at me in a way that made me shyly look away.  After a couple failed attempts at speaking, he finally held my gaze and said, “Um, can I kiss you?”

“Oh my stars and garters, yes!”  He wasted no time pulling me close into perhaps the sweetest and most passionate kiss I’ve ever experienced.  It was hot because we were all new and shiny but I could also sense it wasn’t a kiss that meant he wanted more.  It was just a kiss for the sake of kissing.  That so rarely happens. Plus the fella had a way with his mouth!    

Soon enough we stopped to come up for air and laugh at each other.  “Wow I don’t usually do that.”  He said with his arms still wrapped around me.

“What?  Tie strange women up with their own clothing?”

“Nah that’s just a regular Saturday night.”  He gave me another smooch that ran through me like fire. “Being the Top.”

I searched his face, shocked.  “Are you serious?”

“Totally, that makes you like one of two people I’d ever successfully dominated with sarcasm.”

“Well shit you could have fooled me.  I could have taken charge if you’d have told me.”

“Nah I had fun. You just owe me, next time it’s your turn to do all the work.”

“Next time?”

He raised his eyebrows like “Yeah next time, why not?”

Why not indeed.  Now knowing he leaned more toward bottoming, I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.  A kiss that was hotter and more satisfying than most of the sex I’ve had in my life because I liked this guy and he was so many of the things I was looking for. I wasn’t settling for the closest warm body by hitting on him, I truly and really wanted Captain Tight Pants.  And for that brief evening in time, I had him.


*true story, I don’t know why marshmallows at a kink event but they are very sticky and I still have a pair of semi expensive stockings with permanent marshmallow goo on them to commemorate this evening

How to be a Rope Slut

Just a few pointers and suggestions for being a well educated, safe, and successful rope bottom from someone who has been tied up her fair share. This is some of the stuff I wish someone would have told me when I was first starting out, as well as things I've heard Tops complain about over the years regarding inconsiderate bottoms. Don't be that kind of rope bunny!

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone who has given this writing love over the years! I now have an entire memoir on the topic of being an empowered rope slut called "Diary of a Rope Fiend." Check out my crowdfunding to get it into print and contribute if you can.

Regarding Rope Tops

Don't wait for rope to happen. If you see a rope person you're interested in, ask them if they're interested too. Even riggers like to be asked to dance every once in a while. At the same time, understand there is only so much rope one person can do at each event, don't take it personally if they ask for a rain check.

Know that Tops are just as nervous as you are. That doesn't mean they aren't safe to play with just that its nice to make them feel comforted and wanted too. Cut them some slack and give them some encouragement. Be patient, rope tends to take a while.

Unless you've negotiated otherwise, stay present in the scene, don't go falling off into happy land where you can't communicate as soon as a rigger touches you. It might be “just rope” but there are still negotiations to be done. It is no fun tying a rag doll. Feedback and your reactions--pleasure, pain, uncontrollable giggling--is how the top knows what's working and what isn't.

Have some ideas. What do you want to try? What do you want out of the scene? Why are you interested in this person? Don't always make the top do all the work, have something to add in case he asks.

Rope tops aren't carnival rides, they are humans with feelings and needs just like you. Give some energy back to the scene! Pick a Top you have a connection of some sort with not the one who you think is the biggest deal.

Have some manners, Tops need aftercare too. Thank the Top when you're done, hug, offer to put things away or chat with them while they coil their rope. You were in this together don't just run off as soon as the rope isn't on your body.

Rope is a treasure to a rigger, so treat it as such. The natural fiber stuff isn't cheap. So spit out your gum, skip the body lotion and keep your filthy shoes off the rope. Riggers put a lot of care into their rope, they don't want that stuff on it and neither will the next person that might end up in that rope.

Riggers are not rope and art vending machines. Would you ask someone to fix your car or take out your gallbladder for free? Then don't ask a rigger to tie you up so your partner can fuck you at a play party or to put pretty rope on you for some event and then run off still wearing it. If you like rope, buy your own and get to know someone that will use it with you.

Preparing for Rope

Stretch, do yoga, get flexible. Tight muscles don't want to be tied and they will complain. PoisonBeatrice has wonderful videos of exercises to loosen up before going into rope.

Learn about physiology so you understand how to be safely tied. Take responsibility for your own health and safety by knowing where it is and isn't good to put rope pressure on nerves or veins.

Understand the risks of doing any sort of bondage. Nerve damage, compression issues--none of this is risk free, that's part of what makes it fun. Make sure the Top always has safety shears or some way to free you from the rope in case something goes wrong!

Know yourself and learn from past experience. If face down suspensions always hurt or strappado makes your hands go numb instantly, tell the rigger that before you start. Whatever doesn't work for you is okay, there are still plenty of other ways to get tied up.

Know your weaknesses that day. Sprain your ankle? Have a new tattoo? These are things the rigger should know before you're in their rope.

Have triggers like not liking your feet touched or crying after hearing the word kumquat? This would be nice to know ahead of time too.

Make sure you're well hydrated and fed before getting tied up. If your body is happy and running on proper blood sugar you will be far less likely to pass out or have drop afterwards.

If you have a nervous bladder, for the love of everything good in the world, pee before you start getting tied up!

During and After a Scene

It's tempting, but unless you like getting hit in the face with rope, resist the urge to watch the rope going on.

Rope isn't particularly comfortable, that's part of the point. Know the difference between good and bad pain in rope. Don't freak out or wince at every tug or tiny pinch of the rope.

If you feel bad pain, something go numb, or cold tell the person tying you right away! They aren't mind readers. Don't freak out, just mention there is an issue and allow the person tying you to try to resolve the problem. It might be possible to carry on the scene after a minor adjustment or you might have to be untied and start all over again.

When you start to get fatigued, give the rigger a warning. Such as, “My arm is starting to ache, I probably need to be untied in about 5 minutes.” If you've been bound frequently you should know the signs that your body needs to be untied, listen to it and communicate discomfort as it happens not when its an emergency.

Never let a rope that has been in someone else's genitals or mouth go in your genitals or mouth. The best way to keep this from happening is to invest in a few pieces of your own synthetic rope to have used on you for these specific sorts of ties.

Riggers all have their preferences, some want your hands to your side or above your head as you are getting tied. Ask or read their body language and figure it out. You might think you're being helpful by moving around or adjusting the rope but you're not. Hold still unless told otherwise and enjoy the experience.

Don't lock your knees and remember to breathe while you're getting tied and during the scene.

Suspensions are not the holy grail of rope bondage they are something to work up to. You have to know your body, your rigger and his skills very well before attempting them. There is nothing wrong with floor work. Don't let just anyone try to suspend you!

Know what you need after a scene and don't be afraid to ask for it. Whether its a hug, blanket or glass of water. I personally need a sip of water, some physical contact and if possible to stay in whatever state of undress I was in during the scene until I come back down to earth.

Most importantly, have fun! It's called play for a reason.