I have a very soft, warm and squishy spot for Nathan Fillion aka Malcolm Reynolds who holds top slot in my spank bank. So it was a no brainer to overcome my social anxiety and walk up to Captain Very Tight Pants the second I saw him sitting alone in a suit and tie at a kink event. He looked like Nathan Fillion if Nathan Fillion grew up in Wisconsin on a steady diet of beer and brats.
As if looking hot in a suit wasn’t enough, the first words out of his mouth were, “Well hello, I’m Jay and I just moved here from Milwaukee.” This was soon followed by, “My fetishes are sarcasm, latex, and dressing up as a certain space captain.”
Reader, if there would have been a private room at this event I would have pulled him into that room and made one or both of us cry out in exquisite pleasure-pain for hours. I’ve been waiting for an attractive man to say many of those words in about that order for a long time. Instead I settled for settling in next to him on a couch, enjoying the warmth of his thigh on my thigh and the barbs of his sarcasm against mine.
Brainy and hot. Swoon! And then I let him out of my sight for 5 minutes and blamo! He was gone as if he had never been there.
This is one of the times that the smallness of Portland came in handy; it wasn’t long until I ran into him again at an event. This time he was wearing a super hero style utility suit but made of latex. Holy fuck, my uterus probably swelled to twice its original size in horny delight.
“Hey stranger, you’re looking good.”
He raised an insanely expressive eye brow and gave me the once over. “Hey! You too. Nice corset.”
“Nice shiny get up! You probably get this all the time but do you mind if I touch it/you?”
Another raised eyebrow and he holds out his arm in my general direction. I grin like a giddy school girl and reach out to run my fingers over the latex. Holy shit it was soft and slippery and warm from his skin. It was like touching his skin but not, it was heady and I was ready to tip over with unprocessed hormones.
“Wow that’s awesome. I officially see why you like it.”
“You should have him spin, it’s even better from behind!” Screamed some drunk bystander seeing me with drool hanging from my chin.
My turn to give him a little eye brow action. Being well versed in the communication of eyebrows he knew that I was asking him to show me that butt and so he spun and it was indeed even better from behind. That ass! I wanted to reach out and grab it and never let that sweet bubble butt go. But consent is key so I controlled myself as difficult as it was.
“So what are you up to?” He screamed over the music.
“Oh just hanging out and not getting tied up. You know the usual.” I did a little dance with my eye brows that I hope he understood meant“Wanna take care of that for me?”
Then I realized I had no idea what way he swung in any sense of possible orientations that might or might not make us compatible or this a valid line of flirtation. Should I have said instead “Obviously I’m getting ready to tie you up hot stuff!”? As a bisexual switch I sometimes forget that not all people go all ways.
“I’d be happy to help you with that ma’am but I haven’t any rope on me.”
My heart dropped. The one time I don’t bring rope with me and this! Are you fucking kidding me universe? I have the chance to play with the hottest guy in all of hot world and not having rope this one time out of the million and 2 times I’ve brought rope and never used it is going to be what keeps it from happening? No way! Unacceptable!
“Nor do I, strangely enough. But I think with our big sexy brains we can MacGyver the shit out of this.”
I looked him up and down and my lust was renewed. Damn he was fine! Aside from a nice bulge in his very tight pants I noticed a canvas belt around his waist. The bells in my lust addled brain went off.
“Yes?” He asked as if he could hear every dirty thought in my head.
“Oh um, I was admiring your tight pants but while I was there I realized that you have a belt, I have these ridiculously long corset laces, we can probably find a paper clip around here somewhere and the floor is covered in marshmallows* so I’m thinking we have plenty of materials to not only defuse a bomb but make a relatively reasonable semblance of DIY bondage happen.”
He put hands on hips, jutting his jaw and hardening his face while looking off into the distance. My middle school comic bookobsessed self was squealing with joy. Oh fuck he’s hot!
Suddenly he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him, “Let’s do this. For Metropolis!” Okay we might be mixing metaphors now but I’m into it. He pulled me towards a bench that wasn’t in use and bent me over it.
Yes, take me Captain Tight pants! Take me in a manly fashion! He holds my shoulders down so my face is on the bench and my ass is in the air. I have no idea what he’s up to and I don’t care, I love it.
Bending down behind me so that most of his body is touching mine now he leans to my ear, “I mean that is if this is okay with you.” He pauses. Oh fuck and now he’s doing verbal consent, this man is the hottest thing. Could he just hurry up and have 7000 of my puppies already? My loins are both on fire and dripping with arousal at this point.
“Of course. Thanks for asking but by god have your way with me Captain Tight Pants.”
He straightens back up, hand on my shoulders, other hand fumbling to untie my corset. “What will I do with you, oh filthy minded one?” He says in a husky super hero saving the day kinda voice. Then in his regular voice with an edge of confusion. “No really what will I do with you?”
I wiggle my butt to help with little non verbal communication. He groans “Oh heck yes!” Then in my ear again. “That is a nice behind, can I spank it?”
“I wish you would.”
In his super hero voice, “I will flog you with the latex covered hand of justice.” In his regular voice. “Just as soon as I can tie these hands up.” He fumbles with corset laces and his belt and managed to pin my arms behind me and out of the way. I could have escaped if I’d wiggled just a little big but why in the hell would I want to escape when I’ve spent most of my life trying to get right where I was.
The twack of his latex encased palm against my ass was enough to make most of the room turn around and look. We looked at each other and giggled. “Okay so maybe not with the gloves.” He removed them and went back to slappingmy behind while occasionally keeping up the levels of ridiculous by saying things like, “Take that evil doer!”
After a couple minutes of casual spanking, we’d come to the end of the boundaries we had negotiated on the fly. My ass was warm and happy. We were both giggling. So he untangled me from our various clothing items, he put out a strong hand to help me up from the floor and guided me to a seat.
We sat shoulder to shoulder, breathing heavily and jointly unsure what to do with ourselves now. Every time I turned my head to sass him he was already looking at me in a way that made me shyly look away. After a couple failed attempts at speaking, he finally held my gaze and said, “Um, can I kiss you?”
“Oh my stars and garters, yes!” He wasted no time pulling me close into perhaps the sweetest and most passionate kiss I’ve ever experienced. It was hot because we were all new and shiny but I could also sense it wasn’t a kiss that meant he wanted more. It was just a kiss for the sake of kissing. That so rarely happens. Plus the fella had a way with his mouth!
Soon enough we stopped to come up for air and laugh at each other. “Wow I don’t usually do that.” He said with his arms still wrapped around me.
“What? Tie strange women up with their own clothing?”
“Nah that’s just a regular Saturday night.” He gave me another smooch that ran through me like fire. “Being the Top.”
I searched his face, shocked. “Are you serious?”
“Totally, that makes you like one of two people I’d ever successfully dominated with sarcasm.”
“Well shit you could have fooled me. I could have taken charge if you’d have told me.”
“Nah I had fun. You just owe me, next time it’s your turn to do all the work.”
He raised his eyebrows like “Yeah next time, why not?”
Why not indeed. Now knowing he leaned more toward bottoming, I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. A kiss that was hotter and more satisfying than most of the sex I’ve had in my life because I liked this guy and he was so many of the things I was looking for. I wasn’t settling for the closest warm body by hitting on him, I truly and really wanted Captain Tight Pants. And for that brief evening in time, I had him.
*true story, I don’t know why marshmallows at a kink event but they are very sticky and I still have a pair of semi expensive stockings with permanent marshmallow goo on them to commemorate this evening